“You’re so lucky, your child will eat anything!”
We often overhear, are asked or approached at GymbaROO about starting solids, but more specifically, the question, “Why is my child a fussy eater?” From our perspective, it is another thing about this parenting life that perfectly captures the weight we parents carry around and, in this case, the mealtime dread.
The pressure is real. The worry is real. And if you’re in the trenches with a fussy eater right now, please know this: The stress? Real.
Dr Cohen, a paediatric clinical dietitian at UNSW, confirmed in her interview with The Sector that it struck a chord with us when she expressed that up to 50 per cent of children between one and two years old will go through a fussy-eating stage. Half! That’s a lot of parents standing in kitchens, wondering what on earth to serve next.
But here’s what we’ve come to understand at GymbaROO: eating doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with a process. And like every skill they’re building, the secret ingredient is time, trust, and a little bit of messy play. Milestones, and indeed eating is a developmental milestone, should always be scaffolded, supported, and learned.
And that’s where the magic of play comes in.
The Surprising Truth About Eating
Here’s something that might blow your mind: eating is the most complex physical task human beings engage in. Because it is the only task that involves every organ in the body’s system. Yes, really! – Dr Kay Toomey.
According to the SOS Approach to Feeding, eating requires:
- Every single organ system to work correctly
- 26 muscles and 6 cranial nerves just for ONE swallow
- Simultaneous coordination of all 8 sensory systems
No wonder our little ones sometimes struggle!
And here’s another truth bomb: after about 6 months of age, eating is not instinctive. It’s a learned motor behaviour. Which means—and this is the good news—it can be taught
We Leant on a Little Help from our Team!
At Therapy4Life in Somerville, our Ambassador, Sienna Southen, and her team of Paediatric Occupational Therapists work every day with families navigating feeding challenges. And they’re passionate advocates for the evidence-based SOS Approach to Feeding, designed by Dr Kay Toomey.
The SOS (Sequential Oral Sensory) Approach recognises something crucial: you can’t separate feeding from the sensory experience.
Think about it. Before a child even puts food in their mouth, they need to: See it, smell it, touch it, maybe even squish it, smear it, or drop it on the floor. Hearing this made us remember the important things we share with parents as scaffolding milestones before eating. We often ask, can they:
- Push themselves into a sitting position (bring themselves to sit unassisted)
- Hold their head when sitting upright
- Have the strength to reach out for food and grasp it
- Bring an object to their mouth and open their mouth to explore it
Remember. Scaffolded, supported and learned – a helpful milestone recipe.
Sienna and her team pointed out that they just love the playful aspect of the SOS program, and with their paediatric occupational therapy background, it rings true that the program promotes “Being messy is an important part of learning to eat.”
“Learning to eat is a sensory adventure – spills, smears and mess are all a part of the process.” – Sienna Sothen, paediatric OT
So, What Can You Do?
We asked Sienna for her top takeaway for parents struggling with fussy eaters:
“Play with your food. The research shows that children need to explore food through all their senses before they’ll feel safe enough to eat it. Give them time, give them space, and give them permission to be messy.”
Practical Tips from the SOS Approach:
- Take the pressure off
Mealtimes are teaching opportunities, not social performances. Manners come AFTER eating skills. - Play with purpose
Let your child touch, squish, smell, and explore food before it goes anywhere near their mouth. This is how they learn the “physics” of food. - Ditch the food labels
Food is food. If your child eats chicken and peas best at breakfast—great! - Talk about food
Make mealtime conversation about the food itself. Model how to eat it. Describe textures, colours, and smells. - Remember it is a learning journey
Learning to eat is a gradual process that happens in small, progressive steps. Therapists following the SOS Approach guide children through a hierarchy of skills. - Eat frequently
Children often need 5-6 small meals a day to meet their calorie requirements. Three meals often isn’t enough for their small stomachs.
A Summary of to The Royal Children’s Hospital Guide to Feeding Milestones
To help you understand where your child is at, here’s a quick guide to typical feeding development (based on ASHA and the Royal Children’s Hospital guidelines):
Birth to 3 Months
- Holds head up when supported
- Turns head towards nipple and opens mouth
- Latches, sucks, and swallows
4 to 6 Months
- Brings hands and toys to mouth
- Opens mouth for spoon
- Uses tongue to move food to back of mouth for swallowing
- Starting to sit with support
6 to 9 Months
- Holds head up when sitting upright
- Reaches for toys and food
- Picks up food with fingers
- Brings foods to mouth and starts self-feeding
- Munches and moves food around mouth
- Introduce: purees with lumps, mashed foods, soft chewable solids
9 to 12 Months
- Holds bottle or sippy cup
- Feeds self with fingers
- Takes small bites
- Begins rotary chewing (chewing on both sides)
- Closes lips during swallow
- Introduce: soft bite-sized foods, small amounts of water
When to Seek Help
For a small percentage of children, feeding challenges go beyond typical fussy eating. In these cases, children aren’t being difficult; they are genuinely struggling because eating feels uncomfortable or doesn’t work for their bodies. The good news? With the right support from professionals like Sienna and her team, these challenges can be addressed.
Trust your instincts. If your child is:
- Not meeting developmental milestones
- Losing weight or failing to gain
- Extremely limited in what they’ll eat
- Showing signs of distress around food
- Food jagging – eating the same food over and over until it drops completely from their diet.
- Challenges transitioning from liquids/purees to solids.
Early intervention can prevent problems and foster a healthy relationship with food.
Our Parting Thought
At GymbaROO, we know that development doesn’t happen in isolation. Movement, learning, and eating are all deeply connected. When we support the whole child—their sensory systems, motor development, and confidence—we help them thrive in every area.
So next time you’re faced with a plate of untouched food, or a child who would rather wear their dinner than eat it, take a breath. You’re not failing. You’re teaching. And sometimes, the best teaching happens through a little mess, a lot of patience, and the willingness to play.
You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.
Sienna Southen and the team at Therapy4Life in Sommerville are hosting advocacy events around the SOS Approach to Feeding. For more resources, visit www.therapy4life.com.au or reach out to Therapy4Life directly via phone: 1300 724 466 or email: hello@therapy4life.com.au.